Going in circles
by Koohinor
Summary: shonen-ai - Aya is in love with Yohji, but he is too much of a coward to tell him. Can delicious pancakes help? And what does Ken have to do with any of this? FINISHED.
1. Default Chapter

Autor: Sliver  
  
Titel: Going in circles  
  
Teil: 1/2  
  
Email: sliver-sama@web.de  
  
Pairing: Yohji x Aya  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warning: OOC, a little sappy  
  
Disclaimer: Weiß Kreuz belongs to Project Weiß. The idea is mine. I don't make any money out of this.  
  
comment: As I'm not a native speaker there can be a few mistakes.  
  
°~~~~°~~~~°  
  
Going in circles  
  
"Bye folks, I'm out. Gorgeous women don't like being left waiting."  
  
Here we go again. I sigh and close my eyes, I don't want to see it, don't want to get hurt again. As if it would hurt less when I don't see it. See him leave, like he does almost every night, to meet with some girl he barely knows and most surely fucks anyway.  
  
God, I hate my life.  
  
As if this isn't bad enough, I just _know_ that, tomorrow, when he graces the shop with his appearance, he will be as funny, as charming, as adorable as ever, making my heart hurt even more. In return, I will act like a total asshole and scold him for whatever reason I can find, making him ask me what the hell is wrong with me. Why, oh why on earth do I have to go through this? Why can't I _tell_ him what's up with me? Actually, I'm a coward. Under that cold, badass exterior, I just want to run and hide. Oh, I don't mean on missions. I'm used to seeing blood and death and last choking breaths while pulling out my katana of a dying body. I even got used to the strange squishing sound it makes when I do that. It was hard work, and I wouldn't say I really got _used_ to it, but at least I do what has to be done and don't throw up afterwards anymore. This _is_ an improvement. Sort of.  
  
But I will never get used to his beautiful, beautiful eyes. To his smile. To his most adorable long and slender fingers. And I will never grow indifferent to seeing these hands touching some random girl in inappropriate places. Like, anywhere. Why does he have to do that, anyway?? I mean, is it really that fulfilling having been in every bed from here to Sapporo? Is he trying to break some record or something?  
  
The only thing he is breaking for sure so far is my heart. I love him. I want him to be mine, or me to be his, or whatever, as long as we are together. I want him to hold me at night, and flirt with me in this adorable way of his, and kiss me whenever the opportunity arises.  
  
Unfortunately, that's where the coward business kicks in. I will never be able to show him how I feel, let alone tell. Imagining this scene _alone_ is scaring me out of my wits.  
  
Okay, I'm gay. So what. That's no big deal. It is so much not a big deal, that I haven't told my co-workers about it, as I never saw and still see no reason to do so. It is my business, and my business alone, whom I spend the night with. But, as I have never told them about my sexual orientation, I have no idea how they think about it. What, if ever work up the courage to do so, if I tell him I love him and he is totally grossed out by the fact that I'm a man? Maybe he finds it revolting. I can almost see him move away a little when I sit next to him on the couch. See him look at me with that disgusted face. Realize he always stops talking when I enter a room.  
  
Now I'm shaking so hard I have to lean on the table to keep myself steady.  
  
I could never ever live knowing that he hates me.  
  
As I can no longer live with having to see his ever changing girlfriends every other night.  
  
There has to be taken action. Either I tell him what I feel for him or I try to get over him as soon as possible.  
  
Taking into account how infatuated with him I am, neither promises to work very well.  
  
So I will have to long from a distance, and hope that one day, one glorious day, I will leave my doubts and fears behind and just tell him, confront him with my love for him and throw myself at his mercy.  
  
And maybe, just maybe, he will smile at me, gather me in his arms, and whisper, 'I love you too' into my ear, making me the happiest man alive.  
  
Hey, a guy can dream, right?  
  
°~~~~°~~~~°  
  
Reviews, anyone?  
  
-Sliver 


	2. final chapter

Title: Going in circles  
  
Chapter 2/2  
  
Author: Sliver  
  
Email: sliver-sama@web.de  
  
Pairing: Yohji x Aya  
  
Warning : OOC, sap, com  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: Weiß Kreuz belongs to Project Weiß. The idea is mine. I don't make money out of this.  
  
Comment: Hope you like it, folks!  
  
And now, for my lovely reviewers:  
  
Dahvin$Kohl:  
  
Aphrodisiac sauce? Why didn't _I_ think of this?? Damn.  
  
annakas:  
  
Yeah, who wouldn't want Yohji. And Yohji would take them all, I'm sure. So Aya has a point here.  
  
Misura, yes the monky did it, Hiroko, Bloodrose 'Valentine' Foxxstar:  
  
Thank you, guys! So, for your reading pleasure only: The next (and final) chapter!  
  
°~~~~°~~~~°  
  
I am doing my best here. I really am. I'm fully concentrating on the task at hand, which currently is this very important file about some drug dealers we are going to eliminate next week, and I am not, I _am not_ staring at Yohji's graceful movements while he is baking pancakes. Being the little show-off he is, he is throwing them up and catching them like a professional chef. Well, I love all his little quirks, and imagining him making breakfast for me to bring it to my bed isn't helping the case, either.  
  
So, when he leaves the kitchen and I'm left with Ken and a plate full of pancakes, I shouldn't have been surprised. But I am, and when Ken clears his throat in that not very subtle way of his, my head snaps in his direction, leaving me without my cool and collected mask.  
  
Seeing his furtive smile isn't exactly helping me to regain composure.  
  
"So, little Aya's in love, huh?"  
  
What the..? I swear I'm going to die of a heart attack _this instant_. How can he be this insensitive and spring this question at me? Besides knowing my best-kept secret, of course. Was I really that obvious?  
  
Okay, no need to panic. I can still lie my way out of it.  
  
I put on my best 'get off my back or you will sorely regret it'-face and say: "I don't know what you are talking about."  
  
But he seems absolutely unpertubed. He just rolls his eyes and waves his hand in a truly annoying way. "Oh, _please_. I may not be the most perceptive person in the world, but even _I_ know what you are feeling towards Yohji. It is practically written on your face. Why else would you goof off like you just did and stare at him like he had grown wings? And please drop the act. Did anybody ever tell you that you look totally ridiculous doing that face? Like you swallowed a bug or something."  
  
Trust Ken to always find the right words.  
  
I should be angry, or panicking or something like that, because someone knows about my crush on Yohji, but I'm neither. I'm just really tired, and at the same time quite relieved. Hiding your feelings can be strenuous. Plus, there are definitely worse people to talk to about something like that than Ken, who can be quite sympathetic and nice. In his own special way, mind you.  
  
So instead of threatening him or denying everything, I just say: "Yeah. I love Yohji. Any problems with that?" I swear, if he says one thing about how wrong it is for a man to love a man, I'm going to stab him with my fork.  
  
But Ken doesn't seem to think along those lines and just asks: "So. When are you going to break the news to him?"  
  
I roll my eyes.  
  
"Hm. Let me think. What about. Never? Yeah, never seems to be a pretty good idea, considering he doesn't know that I'm gay and I don't know how he is going to react."  
  
"Well, you'll never know until you have actually asked him."  
  
I want to strangle him for his smart-alecky answer. Instead, I throw him an icy look and start eating one of the pancakes. Is it my imagination or are they really that delicious? Hm, who would have guessed that Yohji is such a great cook. Makes me wonder what else he is good at.  
  
No. I am _not_ going to think that. Again.  
  
I look up at Ken, who wiggles his eyebrows at me. That is something I have never seen before and don't want to see again, so I look down on my plate. A golden pancake stares back at me accusingly. A pancake made by Yohji.  
  
Wiggling eyebrows. Golden pancake. Wiggling eyebrows. Golden pancake.  
  
Trapped between Ken's suggestive looks and an alluring pancake, I make a decision.  
  
"Okay! Okay! I give up. I'm going to make a move on Yohji. I am going to make a complete and utter idiot out of myself and tell him how I feel. There. Are you happy now? Are you guys really happy now?"  
  
With that, I stalk out of the kitchen. The last thing I hear is Ken's confused "'Guys'?"  
  
--------------------------------------------------------  
  
I don't know how often I have cursed myself to hell and back today. I stopped counting. Why, oh why did I have to be so stupid and let myself be manipulated by Ken, of all people?  
  
But a promise is a promise, and Fujimiya Ran is too much of a gentleman, or an idiot, to break it.  
  
So, after breakfast, I changed. Usually I wear whatever I lay my hands on first. As most of my clothes are black and comfy, there isn't much to do wrong here. But everyday wear isn't exactly what I need to get Yohji's attention, and his attention I will need if I want to achieve something in the love department, considering the masses of scarcely clad girls I have to compete with.  
  
So now I'm wearing a pair of black trousers, for which I needed fifteen minutes and a shoehorn to get in and an equally black sleeveless shirt which is pretty tight and a little too short, so it shows off glimpses of bare skin whenever I move. Because of the trousers, I can't wear any underwear. I can't believe I'm wearing this to the shop, actually. I must really be as desperate as I look.  
  
Desperate or not, I had to endure quite some verbal abuse when I came back to the kitchen. Yohji wasn't there, but Omi and Ken were. Ken almost died choking on his own tongue when he saw me, because he didn't want to laugh in my face. Then Omi went, all wide-eyed: "You can't be serious about that outfit. Yohji is the residential slut here. Go change." making Ken almost keel over with suppressed laughter.  
  
I would have loved to hit them, but I was on a mission, one at least Omi wasn't supposed to know about, so I had to keep quiet and just looked at them as sternly as I could, making Ken snort and roll his eyes at me.  
  
The indignity of this.  
  
But I persevered and got rewarded when Yohji entered the kitchen. When he saw me, he stopped dead in his tracks, eying me from head to toe, taking his sweet time doing so. Then he went up to me, grinning. "Nice. Do you have something planned for today or why are you trying to be more sexy than I am?" he said, and, I swear to God, slapped me on the butt. I was so stunned I couldn't react. I didn't have to, though, because Yohji took me by the wrist and pulled me with him, saying: "Let's go, darling. There are ladies waiting for us."  
  
Couldn't he have said something else, like 'There is a bed waiting for us'?  
  
Because ever since, nothing has happened. I really consider climbing on a chair and stripping for him, because nothing I did so far worked. I'm dressed like a hooker, I don't leave his side, I smiled at him, several times even, I have been complimenting him on his artistic skills, and I haven't put him down for his several cigarette breaks but accompanied him and had a little chat with him, which was quite nice, by the way.  
  
I _never_ did that. How obvious do I have to get?  
  
Omi is goggling at me like he thinks I've gone crazy, and Ken had to leave the shop early because he was hiccoughing so hard, but Yohji seems absolutely oblivious to my efforts.  
  
Okay, I'm not the most apt with that whole flirting business. At least not when I'm serious about someone. I do can find myself someone to warm my bed, but that is something different entirely. I have to be _subtle_, for crying out loud. Because, if he shows signs of irritation, I'm going to back off, promise or not. I'm not going to ruin our friendship.  
  
"Omi, don't you want to go looking after Ken? Who knows what he did to get rid of that hiccough."  
  
I turn to Yohji. He is smiling in that special way of his. The way he does when he is trying to worm his way out of something, usually work. What is he on?  
  
But Omi doesn't seem to be aware of this, so he just nods and leaves us alone. I just scared all the girls out of the shop.  
  
It is just he and I, then. And, as I realize, he is standing very close to me.  
  
_Very_ close.  
  
"Well, Aya, we are all alone now. Isn't that nice? A bit of privacy, hm?"  
  
All I can do is nod and try not to get lost in his eyes. Really, those eyes should be made illegal.  
  
I should get going now, this is the perfect opportunity.  
  
"Uhm. Yohji. You know. Well. Do you. Dou you want to." Great. Now I'm stammering. I don't stammer. I just _don't_. Not when I want to ask him out. Could anybody please be so kind and shoot me?  
  
"Yeah?" He smiles at me. That isn't helping.  
  
"Do you. Doyouwanttogooutwithme?"  
  
Even I didn't understand what that was, and _I_ said it.  
  
He is still smiling, though, and I can hardly hear him over my heart beating. "Sorry, didn't catch that."  
  
This is getting ridiculous. I am going to stop making a fool of myself _right now_.  
  
After taking a deep breath, I ask him, as calmly as you wish: "Yohji, do you want to go out with me?" There, I've said it. Wasn't so difficult.  
  
There is a glint in his eye which kind of reminds me of a cat waiting for the right moment to jump on some unsuspecting mouse. What does _that_ mean, now?  
  
"And why should I want to do that?"  
  
I blink. _What??_  
  
"Because, no offence, but you look like real competition when it comes to girls. Or boys, for that matter." He winks at me.  
  
Now I'm really confused. So he would go out with me if it weren't for me getting in his way, or what? And what was that last part. Oh.  
  
Oho.  
  
So he _is_ into boys.  
  
Well.  
  
That changes quite a lot.  
  
Real competition. Does he think I'm beautiful? Because I know he thinks he is beautiful, which he _is_, and when I could be competition for him, he must be thinking that I'm beautiful, too.  
  
This is getting more and more interesting by the minute.  
  
".ya? Aya?"  
  
"Huh?" I answer. I want to slap myself for that smart repartee.  
  
"Are you all right? You spaced out for a bit."  
  
"Uhu." I'm trying to will my brain to work faster, but it feels like it is frozen. Too much information to digest, I guess.  
  
"Well." He puts his hand on his hips and leans forward a bit. "Now tell me: Why should I go out with you, Aya?" He practically purrs.  
  
"Because. Because." Can I tell him that I love him? Just because he is into boys doesn't mean he has to be into me. But what else can I give him as a reason? I look down and start chewing on my lip.  
  
"Really, if you don't hurry up a bit, we will be standing here until tomorrow morning!"  
  
And with that, he wraps his arms around me, kisses me softly on the lips and says: "I love you, you moron. You're bedroom or mine?"  
  
Well. Maybe it didn't went like my dreams, but, hey, all's well that ends well. _That way_, it's even better.  
  
°~~~~°~~~~°  
  
Well. Wanna make me happy and write a review?  
  
Ciao, Sliver 


End file.
